From The Daily Show, March 16, 2004: Stephen Colbert takes a look at the controversy swirling around the issue of drug-testing in international bridge competition:
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About Me
I've been playing duplicate bridge for over 30 years, but only recently achieved the rank of ACBL Life Master. I'd like to blame this on professional and family responsibilities, but I have a feeling that it has more to do with the fact that I can't count to 13 more than twice a day.
The high point of my bridge career was back in college when I once played with a world champion -- the world tiddlywinks champion. I aspire one day to play bridge with the world Boggle champion.
I once owned hundreds of bridge books, but I found that it was surprisingly difficult to get any of my partners to read them. In a fit of pique, I donated them all to the ACBL. The Atlantic Coast Baseball League wrote me a very nice thank-you letter, but refused to give any of the books back to me. As a result, I am now reduced to mangling my own ideas, instead of the ideas of others.
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