Archive for the ‘LOL Dictionary’ Category

Definition: Forcing Pass

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

In a highly competitive, high-level auction, where RHO has just made an apparent sacrifice bid, you can agree that a pass by you shows some kind of in-between hand where you’re not sure whether it’s better to bid one more or to double.  Partner can then use that information at their turn to bid one more or to double.

If my own experience is any guide, 9 times out of 10 after you’ve made a forcing pass partner will tank for several agonizing seconds and then pass. 

The other 1 time out of 10, partner will pass without tanking.

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Definition: OTC

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

Abbreviation for “on the card.”  Refers to an agreement that is on your convention card but not in your brain.  Hilarity often ensues.

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Definition: Bubble

Sunday, July 20th, 2008

“Bubble” is a contraction of “bad double” and refers to a double that when made looks crystal clear but subsequently blows up in your face because of some little prick.

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Definition: Lawbot

Saturday, July 19th, 2008

An adherent of the Law of Total Tricks who automatically raises your 1S opening bid to 4S with 5-card support, irrespective of high-card points, shape, vulnerability, losers, or the fact that you are shortly going to be minus 1100.

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Definition: Moysian Fit

Saturday, July 19th, 2008

What you throw when your idiot partner keeps raising your 4-card major to game with only 3-card support.

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Definition: Mammary Coup

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

When a male defender is so focused on an opponent’s decolletage that he hands the declarer the contract at trick 12 by throwing a diamond instead of a spade, completely forgetting that declarer showed out of spades on trick 9.

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Definition: Squeeze Goggles

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

The inability of a declarer to see a ridiculously obvious way to make a contract because of an apparent squeeze that, even if it were really there, would be a wildly inferior line of play.

Example:

Comparing scores at Swiss Teams…

A: ”Board 17 — minus 1430.”

B: ”Minus 100. 

A: ”Ouch.  Let’s see … minus 1530 is 17 IMPs.  I guess that’s the match.”

C: ”What happened?  Were you guys in seven?”

B: ”No, we were in six.”

A: “How did you go down?  The contract was ice cold!”

D: ”B had his squeeze goggles on.”

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Definition: Relay Precision

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

A sadomasochistic bidding system in which the “captain” gets partner, over the course of an unbelievable number of rounds of bidding, to describe the exact shape of their hand so that the partnership can reach seven spades, down four.

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Definition: Askaholic

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

A player who asks for a detailed explanation of every single bid made by the opponents, thereby allowing them to fully describe their hands to each other while working out the kinks in their bidding system.

Not to be confused with an “askhole,” a player who tries to intimidate less experienced opponents by grilling them about their bids with increasing sarcasm and incredulity.

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Definition: Cold, Ice Cold

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

A cold contract is what your side had before you blew it.

Example:  “6N was cold!  I can’t believe I blocked the club suit!  Well, I guess stuff like that happens to everyone once in a while.  I once read where Oswald Jacoby did something similar at the Nationals…”

An ice-cold contract is what your side had before your partner blew it.

Example:  “6N was ice cold!  Only an idiot like you could block the club suit!”

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